What you will read under here is a blog entry. I have nowhere else to write and keeping it to myself feels useless. Not that it's of any interest to you, but if you feel like pushing the reflexion further, please go on. We may end with something intresting.

The reason I'm blogging here today is about underachievers such as myself. I don't know about you, but for me doing things to the end or even starting them always felt tedious. The factor that affects underachievement to me is unknown. My personality does play a role. I'm a relaxed man, not very active, don't get out of my appartement often, a classic formula of otaku infection if you get the picture.

Now I figure that the fact that things are never started or achieved by myself is something that is deeper within my core. If any of you knows what it's like to have things on your hands, even if their existence are of your own choices and not forced on yourself, and the best thing to do is NOT make them for the sake of drowning oneself in a procrastinative activity that will sink your rythm in oblivion, you'll kinda understand. For me it stands as video games, music playing without serious practice, making tea, watching another episode of family guy since I just watched the one before that, even if after so many times the laugh are gone from expectation.

I think that procrastination would be diagnosed as the "disease" but i think it's more of a symptom. Something deeper than that looms over that reaction and pointing fingers at such an incorporeal feeling is like trying to find ghosts when you don't believe in them.

The real question is why is it so hard to start things up and accept that they won't necesairly be finished. Which in this case is what i'd say is being too perfectionist.

The hardest pârt is also identifying what causes you to be an underachiever. Realizing you can make things and where exactitude is not so much important. No need to know exactly what it is, but at least accept that there are some work around the small things gravitating around the issue, that can be done. The eradication of that factor becomes more evident each day passing, each time you ask yourself to make an effort to progress forward.

Saying it or reading it doesn't answer like actions. From now, I could make a meaningless promise. I'll try not to. I want to wake up early and have a goal each day. Those goals are not necessarly clear at the begining of each day, but starting the day beyond the boundaries of wasting time, procrastinate on things that sholuldn't be made as procrastination. To me that's the promise I can make to myself. Assume my mistakes, and answer to them by tring to correct them every time.

It's about giving yourself a chance to achieve things and pass through another process in the reasearch of answer in life. It's more than just hard work. It's determination, dicipline and strength of character.

It's hard to change things about yourself, when you are "cozy" in your existence. But it only impedes oneself to nothingness. Overcomming adversity, doubts, and self restraints by accepting the presence of danger, is the fundation of that personal achievement.

That's all that is on my mind for now
At least I made a few things clearer for me.
Feel free to contribute to the thought process if you like

Naxel out